Friday 17 September 2010

Series Four: Memorable Quotes

4.01 Season 4
Jack: We’ll trick those race car loving wide-loads into watching your lefty homoerotic propaganda hour yet!
Liz: You just don’t like anybody, do you?

Tracy: Hello fellow human being. Would you like to ask me what time it is?
Are you a large child or a small adult?
You look regular. Could I guess your name? Is it Pedro? Is it Carigford? Is it Swimming?
Are you a preop-transcentaur?
Excuse me, do you have change for a $10,000 bill?
I would like some chicken nuggets, a beer and some of my wife’s rice to stay.
Excuse me sir, you want to hold hands with a black millionaire?
Does anyone want to be my friend? I’m normal!

Liz: Jack is hiring a new cast member.
Jenna: IF IT IS A BLONDE WOMAN, I WILL KILL MYSELF!
Jenna: [Picketing] Jenna Maroney is great! No new cast members!
Tracy: A new what?! IF IT’S A BLONDE WOMAN, I WILL KILL MYSELF!

4.02 Into the Crevasse
Tracy: A book hasn’t caused me this much trouble since Where’s Waldo went to that barber pole factory.

Jenna: You might not know this because you’ve never played a moon scientist, but werewolves only come out at night.
Liz: Yes, I remember that from the Thriller video.
Tracy: Too soon.

Jack: Since I have neither the time nor the energy to even pretend that your situation is a real problem, I will cut the baby in half.
Tracy: And I will take the top half, for that’s the part with the face.

4.03 Stone Mountain
Kenneth: I wasn’t sure if you’re participating in this year’s pumpkin carving contests, or if like last year I should ‘go jump up my own ass.’
Jack: Same as last year.

Jenna: So this all started when their plane crashed?
Toofer: No that’s Lost.
Jenna: Oh right. You know, I met JJ Abrams once. I don’t know what this means, but he said the island is just Hurley’s dream.

Jenna: I want two good sketches a week, a promise to hate the new cast member, and no more making fun of me when I use dated cultural references. Ok? Are we Cowabunga on this?
Frank: We’re Cowabunga.

4.04 Audition Day
Jenna: You’re setting him up to get it. You don’t think I know that trick? You don’t think I’ve been brought in on a million auditions just to make Kim Cattrall seem human and grounded?

Liz: My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.

Jack: I had never been to an audition before. It was upsetting, grotesque carnival of human misery.
Liz: To be fair I did not think Kathy Geiss was going to finish her song by taking off her underpants.

4.05 The Problem Solvers
Cerie: Oh no is that the new guy?
Lutz: What? No it’s me, Lutz. I have worked here for 3 years. I gave you that car I won.

Liz: Do I look OK?
Cerie: That’s exactly how you look.

Tracy: Do you have a problem?
Jenna & Tracy: Then call The Problem… solvers..
Tracy: Taxes got you down? Wasps in your crawl space?
Jenna: Term paper blues? Migrating implants?
Jenna & Tracy: Call The Problem Solvers!
Tracy: Cause after all, what’s a problem but an opportunity disguised as a stripper having a seizure on your boat? Mouse in your House?
Jenna: Or need a cheap flight to Tucson?
Jenna & Tracy: We are the Problem…Solvers.

4.06 Sun Tea
Jenna: Remember that horrible roommate you had in Chicago?
Liz: You mean you?
[Flashback]
Jenna: [Screaming] I know it’s my turn to do the dishes. But I’m in character, and if you make me do the dishes, I will kill myself!

Tracy: The Cosby Show lied to me.
Dr. Spaceman: I don’t think there’s a box for that on the form. What about “Cheers lied to me?”

Dr. Spaceman: If a patients friend runs into the operating room and yells at you, you have to stop. It’s the doctors’ code.

4.07 Dealbreakers Talk Show
Salesman: That belongs to Phillip Michael Thomas. The actor who played Tubs on Miami Vice.
Tracy: Sure, I know him from the secret black people meetings. Nah! I’m just kidding. He’s not invited.

Liz: I’m going to be on TV this week.
Dr. Spaceman: Really? I think you mean radio.

Pete: Ok here we go! One more! This is the one. And action! Great. And smile. With your mouth. And raise the roof. Look boy, you can do it. Good!… Oh my god. Break it down, break it down. Oh yeah yeah, sassy. Sass it up. Wave to a friend. No wave like a human being. Do you remember waving? And blow a kiss. No, with your hands! And uh, a little cleavage. Nope! Just have fun. Are you spinning a basketball?

4.08 Secret Santa
Jack: I’ve been finger tagged, Lemon.
Liz: Was it down by the subway entrance, because I saw a gangly looking kid down there.

Liz: Yeah I did plays in high school too. I was John Proctor in the Crucible.
Nancy: You went to an all girls school?
Liz: No.

Pete: Why didn’t you tell me you could sing like that?
Danny: I didn’t think it was important.
Pete: Wasn’t important!? I had Tracy playing Josh Groban last week.

Jack: Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you never left your hometown?
Liz: Of course. Have you not read my terrible short story “The Two Paths of Virginia Apple”?

4.09 Klaus and Greta
Tracy: Finally! Over the break I forgot which floor I worked on.
Liz: 6, Tracy.
Tracy: 6! I knew it was a character from Blossom, but I couldn’t find the Joey Russo button.

Jack: I’ve Lemoned the situation with Nancy! I’ve got to erase that message!
Liz: “Lemoned?” That’s not a thing people are saying now? Is it?! Cerie?! Lemoned…doing it awesome.

Randy: Do you know how hard it was growing up gay in Menthenburg Pennsylvania? The local TV station edited “Will & Grace” down so much it was just called “Karen.”

4.10 Black Light Attack
Jenna: In the scene they gave me I’m fighting with my mother, a washed up actress who’s clinging on to her last scraps of faded glamor.
Pete: It’s interesting they highlighted the mother’s lines.
Jenna: That’s so I know what part not to read. As if the word “mother” didn’t tip me off already.

Kenneth: A whole new part of your heart has opened up.
Tracy: Thank god! Cause the doctors keep telling me it’s pretty clogged.

Frank: I also downloaded a low frequency tone that can only be heard by people over 40.
Jenna: [Yelling] Have you started playing it yet?!
Jack: [Yelling] Lemon, can I speak with you for a moment?
Kenneth: [Yelling] What is happening to me?!

Actress: Oh mother I can’t believe you’re dying of old age.
Jenna: Don’t cry for me Tartine. I’ve had a full life. Oh the things I’ve seen. The first Clinton administration. The Nagano Olympics. Microsoft Windows 95. But I’m 41 now. Time… to die.

4.11 Winter Madness
Liz: I can sell this to Jack.
[Cut to Jack’s office]
Liz: Cross promotional. Deal mechanics. Revenue streams. Jargon. Synergy.
Jack: That’s the best presentation I’ve ever seen.

Jack: How’s the show looking for Friday?
Liz: Like it may not happen, actually.
Jack: Well that will disappoint your key demographic of drunken 11 year olds.

Tracy: Sure find a scapegoat! Like John Handcock did with the good King George.

Kenneth: I am Silas Merrymount Peppercorn, and this is my first wife, Moronica.
Cerie: It’s nice to meet you. I’m British.
Kenneth: My wife and I have disparate levels of attractiveness because I am a successful inventor.

4.12 Verna
Jenna: I’m sure she’s down there. Sitting on a curb, chain smoking and waiting for me to come out; just like the day I was born.

Frank: I left my Sith Lord cloak to close to near my mom’s shrine to Italian Jesus. And the candle started a fire.
Lutz: Were the firemen strong? Were any of them the ones from the calendar?

Verna: It’s at a fancy restaurant so wear something nice. Like a pair of white jeans and a Dan Marino jersey.

Kenneth: I’ve got an idea for a show called “Doctor” about Richard Doctor who’s a piano player.Do you remember that show “Jennifer Slept Here”?Anne Gillian plays a ghost of a Hollywood starlet who helps teenagers. With what? I don’t know!Some of those people on Match Game, were drunk, with power. Did you know the Today show used to have a monkey on it? Hasn’t been as good since. I think that chimp used to drive itself on you know what and the Bear.

4.13 Anna Howard Shaw Day
Liz: Learn from my sexual mis-adventures, Evelyn. Last Valentine’s Day I watched my boyfriend, Drew’s mother slash grandmother die. I met Floyd on Valentine’s Day but he left me for the city of Cleveland. And forget about Dennis. That pervert would always just try to get me drunk.

Liz: I scheduled a root canal for February 14th, Jack. I will spend half the day in twilight sleep and then I will go home and watch the Original Lifetime movie “My Stepson is my Cyber Husband.”
Jack: Wow that is inspired. You are truly the Picasso of loneliness.
Liz: Or, I am that painting elephant of being awesome.

Liz: Happy Valentine’s Day, no one!

4.14 Future Husband
Liz: While you were watching me after my oral surgery, did I put a toaster waffle into my DVD player?
Jack: You did. You watched it for about an hour, said Nicole Kidman should get an Oscar for it, and then turned it off.

Kenneth: That’s so romantic. Just like that movie I only saw the first ten minutes of, Fatal Attraction.

Liz: [Jamaican accent] This is nurse Jamacia, from Dr. Kaplan’s office. So here’s da ting. You need to come in today so the doctor can check dem teeth, mon.
Wesley: Oh is there something wrong? My check up isn’t for another week.
Liz: He things that tooth might have some bad mojo in it, ya see. Might you be available to come in around 1:30 me lad?
Kenneth: You’re going Irish!
Wesley: Ok, 1:30’s fine.
Liz: Cool Runnings mon! Bobsled.

Jenna: Acting is about consistency and control.
Tracy: Got it. No farting.
Jenna: Repeat after me.
Tracy: After me.
Jenna: No, Tracy.
Tracy: No Tracy.
Jenna: No stop it. Not this part.
Tracy: No stop it. Uh. We got to start over. I farted.

4.15 Don Geiss, America and Hope
Jack: For those wishing to pay their respects there will be an Episcopal cryogenic freezing service open to all Six Sigma black belts and higher.
Tracy: That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard; Episcopal.

Kenneth: Look at all these books, sir. It’s like I’m back at school learning about the dangers of book reading.

Jenna: I got a lot of flack after I ate the pig that played Babe.

Tracy: One day, you will have what I have because you are an amazing, strong, intelligent woman, like Hillary… from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

4.16 Floyd
Danny: I never said that Liz banged her way to the middle. Or that Jenna kidnapped a Swedish au pair to use as a hair farm. And I never called Tracy clean and articulate. Why would I? He’s not!

Kenneth: So if my grandfather hadn’t gotten on the wrong train that day, he never would have met his wife’s…murderer.

Kenneth: To get there you start on Old Barn Road. Then you take the first left. Then the next left. Then the next left. And then another left. That’ll take you around the quarry. Which is real pretty. I just wanted you to see it. That’ll put you back on Old Barn Road.

Jenna: My dreams are getting worse. This one was so graphic! Kenneth and I were married and living in Indianapolis! We had kids!
Tracy: What kind of sick mind dreams that?!
Jenna: It was disgusting!

4.17 Lee Marvin vs. Derek Jeter
Jack: As my good friend and fox hunting partner, Mary J Bilge would say “No More Drama.”

Liz: I’m sorry are we expecting more men.
Jerem: I’m Jerem! I collect posters.
Jenna: Look at me Jerem. I know all the steps.
Jerem: Kind of.

Liz: The older you get the more distinguished you are. Meanwhile I’m reading a book called “Hiding your Arms, Hiding your Anger: Dating Over 35.”

Jenna: There are little blonde girls in this country that have no idea they can be beautiful. That’s why I started Jenna’s Kids. It’s a summer camp that teaches pretty blonde girls how to be mean. [Claps]

4.18 Khonani
Jack: Oh my. I haven’t seen your brow that furrow since you saw that picture of Helen Mirren in a bikini.
Liz: How is it possible? Is she a wizard?!

Jack: Bosses need to keep their distance from their subordinates.
Kenneth: Mr. Donaghy, I have to run out to Mr. Jordan’s house. I’ll call you when you get there so you know I’m safe.
Jack: No! I don’t care if you’re safe.
Kenneth: I love you!

Kenneth: Don’t you remember your wedding vows?
Tracy: To be honest, I couldn’t really understand anything Rick James was saying.

Tracy: Parties are like frisbees. If you throw them the wrong way, they’ll veer off in a bad direction then your kid will fall into a quarry.

4.19 Argus
Jenna: We’re not putting any labels on it yet, because the glue is abrasive. But I’m really happy.

Kenneth: [Sniffs] He’s recently taken a mate.
Jack: Lemon.
Kenneth: Good luck, Argus.

Jenna: How do you think we met? Paul won a Jenna Maroney impersonation contest, at which I came in 4th.
Liz: And now you’re dating him?
Jenna: That’s it. Right there. That face. That is exactly what I didn’t tell you about Paul in the first place. You’re judgmental badger face.

4.20 The Moms
Pete: We haven’t been able to find your mom Tracy.
Tracy: I gave Kenneth the info.
Pete: Her name might be Sheryl and she was wearing a shirt in 1984.

Colleen: That’s what feminism does. It makes nice girls with nice birthing shapes believe in fairy tales. Stop waiting for your prince, Liz.
Liz: I’m not waiting for a prince. I’m waiting for Astronaut Mike Dexter.
Moms: Oh sweet lord in heaven.
Liz: Who turns out to be the secret king of Monaco.

Margret: Just thought I’d tidy up.
Liz: That’s my computer!
Margret: Oh no honey, a computer is a great big thing with a green screen.

Kenneth: I did not loose her sir, Karl would never let you down. Karl that doesn’t sound right. Kevin, no. Who am I? Is it Keith? No? Yes I’m Keith!

4.21 Emanuelle Goes to Dinosaurland
Drew: Liz Lemon. I was just thinking about you the other day.
Liz: Really?
Drew: Yeah I saw this gorgeous woman… putting glasses on her daughters Mrs. Potato’s head.

Kenneth: It’s real Oscar bait sir. You say things like “You don’t know my pain!” and “You watch your mouth, Tyrice!” And in a less dramatic scene, I’ll have hashbrowns.

Liz: Who cares? So I go to Floyd’s wedding alone. Maybe I’ll just lean into it and bring a cat in a baby stroller.

Wesley: I don’t want to go back to England. I can’t suffer through the London Olympics. We’re not prepared, Liz. Did you see the Beijing opening ceremonies? We don’t have control over our people like that.

Tracy: I’ve seen a blind guy bite a police horse. A puppy committed suicide after he saw our bathroom. I once bit into a marino and there was a child’s shoe in it. I’ve seen a hooker eat a tire. A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy’s. The sewer people stole my skateboard. The projects I lived in were named after Zachary Taylor, generally considered to be one of the worst presidents of all time. I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo. They were very drunk!

4.22 I Do Do
Jenna: Maybe I’m old fashioned. But when a girl dates a straight man who impersonates her on stage for mostly gay audiences, she has certain expectations. Fidelity, Paul. It’s not just the name of a bank that sued me.

Liz: Now I know you can’t force your fate. You just have to let it wash over you like a spray tan that won’t take because your skin is too oily.

Kenneth: I was just trying to do bad job so I wouldn’t have to go to Los Angeles. Everyone there smiles creepily all the time and that’s sort of my thing.

Kenneth: So kiss my face! I'll see you all in heaven!

Kenneth the Page

I was getting bored of just researching the subject so I decided to explore another tangent and use a bit of a creativity for a while. I knew I wanted to draw an interesting character and therefore it became obvious that Kenneth was the way to go. It's a depiction of him with one of his trademark expressions and underneath is a quote from Liz Lemon when she once called him an 'apple faced goon'.

Wednesday 15 September 2010

Awards and Nominations

Despite the show not getting great viewing figures, it has certainly made an impact in the awards world. It has been nominated 102 times and won an impressive 49 awards. In this blog post I will detail these wins in more detail and in chronological order.


2007: In it's first year 30 Rock managed to scoop 6 awards and 18 other nominations. The majority of it's wins in 2007 are down to the acting skills of Alec Baldwin, with Tina Fey not really having much success.

Directors Guild of America Awards:
  • Outstanding Directorial Achievement in Comedy Series, Nominated
Primetime Emmy Awards:
  • Outstanding Comedy Series, Won
  • Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series, Elaine Stritch, Won
  • Outstanding Directing for a Comedy Series, Scott Ellis, Nominated
  • Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series, Alec Baldwin, Nominated
  • Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series, Tina Fey, Nominated
  • Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series, Robert Carlock, Nominated
  • Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series, Tina Fey, Nominated
Creative Arts Emmy Awards:
  • Outstanding Casting for a Comedy Series, Nominated
  • Outstanding Original Main Title Theme Music, Nominated
  • Outstanding Sound Mixing for a Comedy or Drama Series and Animation, Nominated
Golden Globe Awards:
  • Best Actor – Musical or Comedy Series, Alec Baldwin, Won
Satellite Awards:
  • Best Actor – Musical or Comedy Series, Alec Baldwin, Nominated
  • Best Actress – Musical or Comedy Series, Tina Fey, Nominated
Screen Actors Guild Awards:
  • Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series, Alec Baldwin, Won
Television Critics Association Awards:
  • Individual Achievement in Comedy, Alec Baldwin, Won
  • Individual Achievement in Comedy, Tina Fey, Nominated
  • Outstanding Achievement in Comedy, Nominated
  • Outstanding New Program of the Year, Nominated
Writers Guild of America Awards:
  • Best Comedy Series, Nominated
  • Best New Series, Nominated
Other Recognition:
  • Gracie Allen Awards, Outstanding Female Lead in a Comedy Series, Tina Fey, Won
  • GLAAD Media Awards, Outstanding Individual Episode, Nominated
  • People's Choice Award, Favorite New TV Comedy, Nominated


2008: In it's second year 30 Rock gained an impressive 14 statues, and what's more impressive was it's 26 other nominations. The second highest number in the shows history. 

Directors Guild of America Awards:
  • Outstanding Directorial Achievement in Comedy Series, Nominated
  • Outstanding Directorial Achievement in Comedy Series, Nominated
Primetime Emmy Awards:
  • Outstanding Comedy Series, Won
  • Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series, Tim Conway, Won
  • Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series, Alec Baldwin, Won
  • Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series, Tina Fey, Won
  • Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series, Tina Fey, Won
  • Outstanding Directing for a Comedy Series, Michael Engler, Nominated
  • Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series, Will Arnett, Nominated
  • Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series, Steve Buscemi, Nominated
  • Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series, Rip Torn, Nominated
  • Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series, Edie Falco, Nominated
  • Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series, Carrie Fisher, Nominated
  • Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series, Elaine Stritch, Nominated
  • Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series, Jack Burditt, Nominated
Creative Arts Emmy Awards:
  • Outstanding Casting for a Comedy Series, Won
  • Outstanding Sound Mixing for a Comedy or Drama Series And Animation, Won
  • Outstanding Cinematography for a Half-hour Series, Nominated
  • Outstanding Picture Editing for a Comedy Series, Nominated
  • Outstanding Special Class – Short format, Live-action Entertainment Programs, Nominated
Golden Globe Awards:
  • Best Actor – Musical or Comedy Series, Alec Baldwin, Nominated
  • Best Actress – Musical or Comedy Series, Tina Fey, Nominated
  • Best Series – Musical or Comedy, Nominated
NAACP Image Awards:
  • Outstanding Comedy Series, Nominated
  • Outstanding Supporting Actor – Comedy Series, Tracy Morgan, Nominated
Producers Guild of America Awards:
  • The Danny Thomas Producer of the Year Award in Episodic Series – Comedy, Won
Satellite Awards:
  • Best Actor – Musical or Comedy Series, Alec Baldwin, Nominated
  • Best Actress - Musical or Comedy Series, Tina Fey, Nominated
  • Best Series – Musical or Comedy, Nominated
Screen Actors Guild Awards:
  • Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Comedy Series, Tina Fey, Won
  • Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series, Alec Baldwin, Won
  • Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series, Nominated
Television Critics Association Awards:
  • Individual Achievement in Comedy, Tina Fey, Won
  • Outstanding Achievement in Comedy, Won
  • Individual Achievement in Comedy, Alec Baldwin, Nominated
Writers Guild of America Awards:
  • Best Comedy Series, Won
  • Best Episodic Comedy, 'Hardball', Nominated
Other Recognition:
  • George Foster Peabody Awards, Won
  • American Cinema Editors Awards, Nominated
  • Teen Choice Awards, Choice TV Actress, Tina Fey, Nominated


2009: In it's third successful year the show won 15 awards and was nominated for a further 32, the highest number in it's history. What's most impressive about 2009 was it's 18 Primetime Emmy Awards noms, breaking the record for the most nominations for a comedy series.

Directors Guild of America Awards:
  • Outstanding Directorial Achievement in Comedy Series, Reunion, Nominated
  • Outstanding Directorial Achievement in Comedy Series, Do-Over, Nominated
Primetime Emmy Awards:
  • Outstanding Comedy Series, Won
  • Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series, Alec Baldwin, Won
  • Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series, Tina Fey, Nominated
  • Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series, Tracy Morgan, Nominated
  • Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series, Jack McBrayer, Nominated
  • Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series, Jane Krakowski, Nominated
  • Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series, Matt Hubbard, Won
  • Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series, Robert Carlock, Nominated
  • Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series, Jack Burditt, Nominated
  • Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series, Ron Weiner, Nominated
  • Outstanding Directing for a Comedy Series, Millicent Shelton, Nominated
  • Outstanding Directing for a Comedy Series, Beth McCarthy, Nominated
  • Outstanding Directing for a Comedy Series, Todd Holland, Nominated
  • Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series, Steve Martin, Nominated
  • Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series, Jon Hamm, Nominated
  • Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series, Alan Alda, Nominated
  • Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series, Jennifer Aniston, Nominated
  • Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series, Elaine Stritch, Nominated
Creative Arts Emmy Awards:
  • Outstanding Casting for a Comedy Series, Won
  • Outstanding Picture Editing for a Comedy Series, Ken Eluto, Won
  • Outstanding Cinematography for a Half-Hour Series, Nominated
  • Outstanding Creative Achievement in Interactive Media, Nominated
  • Outstanding Sound Mixing for a Comedy or Drama Series And Animation, Nominated
  • Outstanding Special Class – Short format, Live-action Entertainment Programs, Nominated
Golden Globe Awards:
  • Best Actor - Musical or Comedy Series, Alec Baldwin, Won
  • Best Actress - Musical or Comedy Series, Tina Fey, Won
  • Best Series - Musical or Comedy, Won
NAACP Image Awards:
  • Outstanding Directing in a Comedy Series,  Kevin Rodney Sullivan, Won
  • Outstanding Comedy Series, Nominated
  • Outstanding Supporting Actor – Comedy Series, Tracy Morgan, Nominated
Producers Guild of America Awards:
  • The Danny Thomas Producer of the Year Award in Episodic Series – Comedy, Won
Satellite Awards:
  • Best Actor – Musical or Comedy Series, Alec Baldwin, Nominated
  • Best Actress - Musical or Comedy Series, Tina Fey, Nominated
  • Best Series – Musical or Comedy, Nominated
Screen Actors Guild Awards:
  • Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Comedy Series, Tina Fey, Won
  • Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series, Alec Baldwin, Won
  • Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series, Won
Television Critics Association Awards:
  • Individual Achievement in Comedy, Alec Baldwin, Nominated
  • Individual Achievement in Comedy, Tina Fey, Nominated
  • Outstanding Achievement in Comedy, Nominated
Writers Guild of America Awards:
  • Best Comedy Series, Won
  • Best Episodic Comedy, 'Succession', Won
  • Best Episodic Comedy, 'Believe in the Stars', Nominated
  • Best Episodic Comedy, 'Cooter', Nominated
Other Recognition:
  • Art Directors Guild Awards, Episode of a Half Hour Single-Camera Television Series, Nominated


2010: The show's fourth year was perhaps its worst so far, only adding 7 awards to the collection. It was the first year when it didn't win a single Primetime or Creative Arts Emmy. However there is still some time left within the awards season, and therefore more wins may be on the cards.

Primetime Emmy Awards:
  • Outstanding Comedy Series, Nominated
  • Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series, Alec Baldwin, Nominated
  • Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series, Tina Fey, Nominated
  • Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series, Jane Krakowski, Nominated
  • Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series, Will Arnett, Nominated
  • Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series, Jon Hamm, Nominated
  • Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series, Elaine Stritch, Nominated
  • Outstanding Directing for a Comedy Series, Don Scardino, Nominated
  • Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series, Tina Fey, Nominated
  • Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series, Kay Cannon, Nominated
  • Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series, Matt Hubbard, Nominated
Creative Arts Emmy Awards:
  • Outstanding Casting for a Comedy Series, Nominated
  • Outstanding Cinematography for a Half-Hour Series, Nominated
  • Outstanding Costumes for a Series, Nominated
  • Outstanding Picture Editing for a Comedy Series, Nominated
  • Outstanding Sound Mixing for a Comedy or Drama Series And Animation, Nominated
Golden Globe Awards:
  • Best Actor – Musical or Comedy Series, Alec Baldwin, Won
  • Best Actress – Musical or Comedy Series, Tina Fey, Nominated
  • Best Series – Musical or Comedy, Nominated
NAACP Image Awards:
  • Outstanding Directing in a Comedy Series, Ken Whittingham, Won
  • Outstanding Comedy Series, Nominated
  • Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series, Tracy Morgan, Nominated
Producers Guild of America Awards:
  • The Danny Thomas Producer of the Year Award in Episodic Series – Comedy, Won
Screen Actors Guild Awards:
  • Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Comedy Series, Tina Fey, Won
  • Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series, Alec Baldwin, Won
  • Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series, Nominated
Writers Guild of America Awards:
  • Best Comedy Series, Won
  • Best Episodic Comedy, 'Apollo, Apollo', Won
  • Best Episodic Comedy, 'Reunion', Nominated

Season Three: Memorable Quotes

3.01 Do-Over
Devon: You know what they say about rumors, Jack? They make a 'ru' out of 'mor' and 's'

Liz: I was arrested once in Germany for public nudity. I thought it was a topless beach; it was a shipyard.

Jack: This is GE!
Devon: It’s just G now, Jack. I sold the E. To Samsung. They’re Samesung now. I was supposed to be at a board meeting 5 hours ago. Which ways Connecticut?

Jenna: Well I first met Liz in 1993. She was fresh out of college and I had just broken up with OJ Simpson. And can I just say something? Total gentleman.

Liz: Are you sure she wants sex? Maybe she just wants attention. You know her whole world is stuffed unicorns and soap operas.
Jack: Aren’t soap operas all about sex?
Liz: No way! The best part of soap operas is when somebody’s twin interrupts a wedding or the pulls a gun in a fitness center.

3.02 Believe in the Stars
Jack: What do you take to fly?
Liz: Candy and magazines.
Jack: No pills. Nobody flies without medication any more. Why shouldn’t you enjoy the same luxuries as a dog?
Liz: Comanapricil? May cause dizziness, sexual nightmares, and sleep crime…
Jack: It’s very good.

Tracy: If it wasn’t for you people, I’d still be in Africa, gorgeous, politically stable Africa.

Jack: Well Kenneth, I give up. I thought pure morality died with Chuck Heston but you proved me wrong. You are better than all of us. You are one Latina fantastica.
Kenneth: Hola.

3.03 The One with the Cast of Night Court
Claire: Are we still on for tonight? It is going to be epic!
Liz: I can’t… I volunteer at this thing with children and old people…
Claire: Bring them!

Claire: I’m his life coach, Esmerelda Fitzmonster.

Jack: Claire used to punch me in the face.

3.04 Gavin Volure
Tracy: Those two have never paid me any attention and rightly so! I’m a strange man who can’t be taken seriously. Now they won’t let me out of their sight!
Kenneth: Well, maybe they love me.
Tracy: Nope. Look what the little one made me.
Kenneth: Aww that’s cute.
Tracy: This is voodoo, Ken!

Liz: I’m still tired from that dinner. And meeting someone new, ugh, all the nodding and smiling and sibling listing. And what’s the upside? It works and you have to have a bunch of sex?
Jack: Lemon, what do you want? Do you want to be alone for the rest of your life?
Liz: No. I just wish I could start a relationship about 12 years in where you don’t really have to try anymore and you can just sit around together and goof on TV shows and go to bed without anybody trying any funny business.

Kenneth: All right everyone. I’m in charge. Does anyone want water or saltines?
Tracy: I would feel safer with some saltines.

3.05 Reunion
Kenneth: Oh, Ms. Lemon. You have several messages. Ah, let’s see, that company running the bike tour in South Carolina says no singles.
Liz: Ok.
Kenneth: Uh, your credit card called. They want to make sure you’re the one buying crème soda in bulk.
Liz: I sure am.
Kenneth: And your landlord called. He said it’s not your toilet, it’s you.
Liz: That’s his opinion.

Jenna: I would have gone to my reunion, but the boat I was educated on sank.

Liz: Boy it was something landing in this storm, huh? Listen about some of the stuff I said…
[Flashback]
Liz: One time I laughed at a blind guy eating spaghetti! Sometime I pee in the shower if I’m really tired! I saw my grandparents making love once and I didn’t leave right away!

3.06 Christmas Special
Liz: [reading letter] Dear Santa, my name is Chanel Jenkins. I would like some new shoes so I can walk to school. My dream is to be a doctor someday…
Tracy: [crying] That kid’s never going to be a doctor. I better buy her a jet ski.

Tracy: I will not let you go into that neighborhood alone. In the spirit of Christmas and Kwanzo…
Liz: Kwanza.
Tracy: And Shalam-shazam to you too, my sister.

Liz: What just happened?
Tracy: What’s the past tense for scam? Is it scrumped? Liz Lemon, I think you just got scrumped!

Liz: Hey, you don’t know the Postmaster General, do you?
Jack: I do but we had a falling out over the Jerry Garcia stamp. I mean, if I want to lick a hippie I’ll just return Joan Baez’s phone calls.

3.07 Senor Macho Solo
Jenna: OMG, Liz. Look at you and me and our biological clocks. You’re going baby crazy and I keep getting turned on by car accidents.

Jenna: I’m so glad I time traveled here from 1969. Woah! What is that iron bird?
Jack: They had airplanes in the ‘60’s, Jenna.

Liz: Cat sound!

Jenna: I just want you all to know, that as I prepare to venture into moviedom, that an actor is only as good as the words… oh my thing is on! Everyone shut up! Shut your mouths!

3.08 Flu Shot
Liz: I’m not getting sick before my trip. The place I go to has private beaches, soft served ice cream machines, and after the French custom, people wear dark socks to the beach.

Dr. Spaceman: When is modern science going to find a cure for a woman’s mouth?

Jenna: Tracy and I want to do something for the crew. You know, to thank them for being sick.
Tracy: We didn’t know what to get them. But then I had a brain storm. It was a bad one. Jenna had to put my tongue guard in.
Jenna: But, after he stabilized, we decided we’d get them all hot soup.

Elisa: I can’t go back to back to working the late shift at Dunkin’ Donuts. The customers are so sad.
[Flashback]
Elisa: Can I help you?
Liz: Yes, what time do you start throwing out donuts?

3.09 Retreat to Move Forward
Liz: Is that like a corporate retreat? I used to have perform at those all the time back when Jenna and I were in that improve troupe.
[Flashback]
Host: The audience suggestion is “Sling Blade and Oprah on a date.”
Liz: [as Sling Blade] I sure do like dem French fired potaters!
Jenna: No you don’t Oprah!
[Back to Present]
Liz: Jenna is not a great improviser.

Frank: Ok, I’m on Wikipedia. Edit page. Did you know that Janis Joplin speed walked everywhere and was afraid of toilets?
Toofer: I had heard that, yes.
Cerie: Was she really?

Tracy: So how bad is diabetes really?
Dr. Spaceman: Quite serious. If left untreated you could loose a foot?
Tracy: Could I replace it with a wheel like Rosie from the Jetsons?
Dr. Spaceman: I suppose. But then you’d have to register as a motor vehicle.

Liz: Stop sweating you idiot! What is wrong with you? YOU STUPID BITCH!

3.10 Generalissimo
Jack: Wasn’t that a treat? Only the special tours get to see Conan without his wig.

Elisa: Here’s today’s script. I translated it and took out the Star Wars references.

Matt Lauer: The Lehman Brother’s investment bank will reopen under the direction of comedian, Tracy Jordan.
Tracy: I’m doing this so nobody will know I’m getting old.
Reporter: But you just told us you’re old.
Tracy: This interview is over!

3.11 St. Valentines Day
Frank: Oh Kenneth, Hey, you know how the company makes and effort to hire the disabled?
Kenneth: Do I?! I wouldn’t have this job if it weren’t for the mouth on my back.
Frank: Yeah, I’m supposed some blind chick they hired to edit the reruns. But three of the dancers just found out their all dating the same guy, so I’m gonna go watch that. So if you see a blind chick, give her one of your boring tours.
Kenneth: Yes sir! [higher voice] Yes sir! I’m just funning, it’s all sewed up!

Priest: And now, a prayer for the pregnant members of our congregation. Anita Alverez. Anna Alverez. Annabell Alverez…
Jack: Honey this is a Catholic church. We’ll be here until morning.

Grandma Baird: Mandy, you look terrible.
Liz: Oh no, I’m not Mandy. I’m Liz.
Grandma Baird: Mandy, you have to tell Drew something for me: The woman he thinks is his sister is really his mother. I’m his grandmother. You have to tell him or I won’t get into heaven! [Grandma Baird dies]

3.12 Larry King
Jack: Lemon, you’re a woman…
Liz: Of course I am! That doctor was a quack. I don’t even know why my parents listened to him!

Pete: Listen, we have a request. Can you please try to remember to talk about TGS tonight?
Liz: You only have to plug it once. TGS, Fridays at 10:30 on NBC.
Tracy: You got it. NGS Fridays at C:30 on TB:10.
Pete: Thank you.

Larry King: Have you been to Asia, Tracy?
Tracy: My work has taken me there. I was supposed to be in that movie, “Rush Hour”, but two weeks into shooting, I was replaced by Jackie Chan.

Larry: If you’re just joining us, we’re with Tracy Jordan who is giving guitar icon Peter Frampton enigmatic clues about a secret treasure.

3.13 Goodbye, My Friend
Liz: I’ll have mine to stay, please?
Becca: You want a dozen donuts to stay?
Liz: And a skimmed milk.

Kenneth: What’s the matter, Mr. Jordan? I know you only make cheese friends when something’s bothering you.
Tracy: You were right, Ken. Birthdays are special. And now mine is over. And who knows when February 24th will come again? And that birthday wish is malarkey. Malarkey! [To cheese friend] Come on, Daniel.

Jenna: Don’t even ask about the wheelchair.
Liz: Ok! [runs]
Jenna: Also, my old vocal coach died!

3.14 The Funcooker
Dr. Spaceman: My lab work is in the field of sleep research. Mostly because I checked the wrong box on a form once. We are currently working on a pill that keeps people awake under any circumstances. It’s being funded by the US Military and the WMBA.
Jenna: Where do I sign up?
Dr. Spaceman: Oh please, we don’t want a paper trail.

Liz: And I don’t really think it’s fair for me to be in a jury because I’m a hologram.
Judge: You seem fine to me, report to Jury Room B.
Liz: Charles what now?

Jack: Most of the time has been spent focused on coming up with a hip, edgy name for the product. Something that will appeal to the marketing Holy Trinity: College students, the morbidly obese, and homosexuals.

Jack: I’m going to pick some random letters from this bag of Scrabble tiles. Let fate choose a name for us. V. A. G. …Why don’t we start over. N… I… I have an idea why don’t I pull them all at once? “HITLER.” Why don’t we take a break.

3.15 The Bubble
Jenna: As you probably know, especially if you read Page Six…of my publicist’s emails, I have decided to cut my hair and donate it to charity.
Kenneth: But Ms. Maroney, why would you cut your beautiful hair? You look just how I picture Mary Magdalene.

Liz: Something happened with Drew.
Jack: Oh no. He’s not a BFF?
Liz: Ugh no never. It’s the Bubble. He is a doctor who doesn’t know the Heimlich maneuver. He can’t play tennis. He can’t cook. He’s as bad at sex as I am. But he has no idea.

Tracy Jr.: He set up a home recording studio in our rec room.
[Cut to Tracy singing] Tracy: My girl has a fat neck! I’m sharp, let’s do it again.

Kenneth: This is too hard. Mr. Donaghy. I can not stand by while Mr. Jordan dies of dehydration in his recording studio. Plus I started to dream as Cranston.

3.16 Apollo, Apollo
Tracy: I will be brief. I have decided to fulfill my dream of going into space. If you have a spaceship and are looking for a hilarious astronaut with an irregular heartbeat and 30 million dollars, I am prepared to leave as soon as tomorrow.

Liz: How long have we known each other?
Jenna: 15 years. We met at that car dealership audition in Chicago. You were trying to be an actress then, despite your neck.

Commercial: Don’t wait, call now.
Liz in Commercial: Hi. I’m Bijou. Call me.
Liz: I’ve since had Invisiline.
Liz in Commercial: Call us, in English, German or Polish.
1-900-OKFACE
Frank: That’s not even enough numbers!

1-900-OK FACE

3.17 Cutbacks
Liz: Handle a presentation? Jack, I put on a live show every week, unless there’s wrestling. I’m on it.

Liz: Now I can stand here, Brad, and bore you with numbers. I could tell you we’re the #1 late night show among men 9 to 13 and the morbidly obese. I could tell you that we’re in final negotiations to create exclusive content for America’s jails.

Kenneth: I know you said only interrupt you if it was very important, but Tashonda from Time Warner Cable is on the phone and she’s offering you 3 free months of Showtime but you have to act now!

Jenna: Well I had to study serial killers to prepare for my role as criminal profiler Jill St. Farari, in the Lifetime original mini series, Hushed Rapings.

3.18 Jackie Jormp Jomp
Jack: Sing them Blues, White Girl: The Jackie Jormp-Jomp Story, has got to get some buzz. And I’m going to need your help for that.
Jenna: Do you need a sex tape release? Because I’ve got a weird one. It’s night vision and you can see that his buddy is robbing me.

Tracy: Yeah well Liz Lemon’s in jail now.

Jenna: First a backpack upstages me, then the paparazzi kept calling me Dina Lohan, and now the Cyrus family has decided to rock a bunch of funky hats.

Tracy: Friendship and trust in the entourage are the most important things. Like that HBO show, John Adams.

3.19 The Ones
Tracy: This present has to be special. It’s either going to be a denim jacket that says “Hot Bitch” on the back in diamonds
Liz: Uh huh…
Tracy: Or a Slanket.

Kenneth: My real name is Dick Whitman!

Jenna: I’m sorry, but I am not a monster. I’m just a girl standing in front of a boy she’s poisoned. So this other boy would go to town on her.

Liz: [singing] Working on my night cheese…

3.20 The Natural Order
Liz: Hey Jack, just a head up, Tracy knows what time it is.
Jack: Damn it.

Liz: You want to be treated like everyone else? Fantastic. Then tomorrow I’m sending a regular town car for you instead of one of those duck tour boats.
Tracy: Fine.
Liz: And you’re no longer to point at women in cafeteria and yell “I want to get that pregnant!”

Jack: Have you ever been to Florida? It’s basically a criminal population. It’s America’s Australia.

Jack: I have an opportunity here, Lemon. “A chance to go back to the past to put things right that once went wrong.”
Liz: That’s the Quantum Leap intro.

3.21 Mamma Mia
Liz: Look, Jack, I don’t have a personal life experience. But if I have learned anything from my Sims family, when a child doesn’t see his father enough, he starts to jump up and down. And then his mood level will drop, until he pees himself.

Liz: Maybe Donald is Tracy’s son because Tracy is 60.
Pete: No that’s ridiculous.
Liz: Think about it. He can’t rap. He has diabetes. A lot of his friends are dead.
Pete: He falls asleep in chairs. He doesn’t know how to use the computer. He’s always mad the TV.
Toofer: His favorite show is NCIS.
Liz: He might be 70.

Tracy: I may hug people to hard and get lost in malls, but I’m not an idiot.

3.22 Kidney Now!
Woman: My fiance and I keep arguing about our wedding plans…
Liz: Nope! Your fiance is gay. Look at him. Look at you. Classic Fruit Blindness.
Vontella: Fruit Blindness!?

Tracy: It’s true! There is no baby. I was chicken! I was chicken!
Milton: A guy crying about a chicken and a baby? I thought this was a comedy show.

Jenna: You should do a celebrity concert. Like that gig I did to benefit old gays.
Jack: Yes. A benefit concert like We Are the World. Or Weird Al’s less successful parody benefit, We Are the Pizza. Tell Pete to start building a set.

Jenna: Mickey Rourke wants to take me camping!
Liz: Deal breaker, Jenna! God!

Tuesday 14 September 2010

Series Two: Memorable Quotes

2.01 SeinfeldVision
Jack: All of my summer replacements shows were big hits; America’s Next Top Pirate, Are You Stronger than a Dog?, MILF Island.
Liz: MILF Island?!
Jack: 25 super hot moms. 50 8th grade boys. No rules.
Liz: Oh yeah didn’t one of those women turn out to be a prostitute?
Jack: That doesn’t mean she’s not a wonderful and caring MILF.

Jack: She needs to loose 30 pounds or gain 60. Anything in between has no place on television.
Liz: I can’t believe I missed you.

Jenna: Oh my god, if I cover my good eye, you look just like Courtney Cox.

Liz: This is my year. Floyd’s moving on. I’m moving on too. I’m just doing it in my own order. I’m gonna get the wedding dress. Them I’m gonna have a baby. Then I’m going to die. And then I’m gonna meet a super cute guy in heaven.

Jenna: Hey everyone. I know what you’re thinking. How did I loose 25 pounds in one day? I didn’t. It’s visual trickery. Drawing the eye up.

2.02 Jack Gets in the Game
Jack: Geiss is sending signals about retirement, about succession.
Liz: By talking about sex in a sailing magazine?
Jack: That’s exactly how Margaret Thatcher did it.

Dr. Spaceman: Now Jenna, medically speaking for your height, your weight puts you in what we call the disgusting range.

Jenna: And it’s kinda hard to take life advice from a single woman who is using her treadmill as a hanger for a wedding dress.
Liz: Oh, I guess I’m just supposed to put it in the closet with ham fat all over it?

2.03 The Collection
Tracy: I’m whipped! Angie got me up at 7:30 today. Did you know in the morning they have food, tv, almost everything. It’s pretty good.
Liz: I did know that! Yeah!

Lenny: Have you ever been arrested?
Jack: I have. The 1976 Democratic National Convention. But it’s ok, I was there beating up hippies.
Lenny: And what about your family? Any skeletons there?
Jack: By brother Eddie sells faulty sprinkler systems to elementary schools. My cousin Tim fixes NBA games. My mother is an Olympics level racist. But as for the rest, they’re too drunk to do much of anything. Unless getting thrown out of a Chili’s is a crime.

Jenna: No I won’t calm down. This can’t be happening. Everything is based on the fat! Enorme, the offer to play Ms Pacman in the live action Atari movie.
Liz: What?

Liz: Well in this one, Tracy plays a gentleman who wears flamboyant clothes and lives uptown.
Angie: He’s a pimp.
Liz: He’s an entrepreneur.
Angie: What’s the character’s name?
Liz: Slick Back Lemar.

2.04 Rosemary's Baby
Jenna: If I can’t be Monique fat, I have to be Teri Hatcher thin. Either way, you’re laughing.

Liz: Thank you. You are my heroine. And by heroine, I mean lady hero. I don’t want to inject you and listen to jazz.
Pete: Good lord!

Jenna: A Page Off? What’s that?
Kenneth: It’s a savage contest, mixing physical stamina with NBC trivia.

Rosemary: Now that you’re free, we can work on something together.
Liz: Yeah! We can start our own network called “Bitch TV!” … or the second idea we think of.

Jenna: Ok, which NBC series spun off, amongst others; The Cosby Show, Miami Vice, Cheers, and Highway to Heaven?
Kenneth: Supercomputer!

2.05 Greenzo
Jack: It’s part of our new company wide global initiative. We’re going green, Lemon. And do you know why?
Liz: To save the earth?
Jack: So we can drain the remainder of its resources.

Tracy: All a hot party needs is mystique. A buzz. You see people are like lemmings. Harvey Lemmings, my lawyer. Who never misses a party.
Liz: That’s not a real person. You made that up.

Jack: Look how Greenzo’s testing. They love him in every demographic; Colored people, broads, commies, fairies, gosh we got to update these forms.

Tracy: Get me Harvey Lemmings!
Liz: Dummy! First of all you didn’t dial that cell phone. Second of all, that is your own rumor. People are going to show up expecting all those great stuff, and they’re going to end up disappointed and angry.
Tracy: Just like Colonial Williamsburg.

2.06 Somebody to Love
Liz: I never make assumptions about race. You remember I asked that black guy if he had seen Sideways?

CC: Whiskey straight up.
Jack: I’ll have a white run with a diet ginger ale and splash of lime.
CC: Wow, I never would have pegged you for a University of Tennessee sorority girl.

Tracy: Stop eating people’s old French fries, pigeon, have some self respect. Don’t you know you can fly?

2.07 Cougars
Jack: Baseball taught me how to dream. What are your dreams?
Kid #1: When I grow up, I’m going to do vending machine maintenance.
Kid #2: I’m gonna get shot by a cop and sue the city.
Kid #3: I’m going to be a talkative doorman with a drinking problem.
Tracy: That’s right, you shoot for the stars.

Frank: I’m gay for Jamie.
Liz: No, that’s not a thing. You can’t be gay for one person. Unless you are a lady and you meet Ellen.

Liz: Speaking of music I like, how about Gnarls Barkley. That guy’s great. Have you been to his official website? It’s really…

2.08 Secrets and Lies
Jack: Lemon, that woman you met this morning in my office is not a colleague of mine. We are lovers.
Liz: Ugh, that word bugs me out unless it’s between “meat” and “pizza.”

Jenna: Do you remember when I filmed that movie version of the Mystic Pizza Musical?
Pete: Do I? I don’t.
Jenna: Well the NY City Critics Association just sent me this. Best Actress in a movie based on a musical based on a movie.

Tracy: I do not want to disappoint my Japanese public. Especially Godzilla. Hahaha I’m just kidding. I know he doesn’t care what humans do.

CC: I should never have listened to a woman to tapes her bra together.
Jack: Lemon…

GE Exec #1: I gave to NPR last year.
GE Exec #2: My children go to public school.
GE Exec #3: I’m gay.
GE Exec #4: I’m black.
GE Exec #5: I murdered my wife.

2.09 Ludachristmas
Jack: Her name is CC.
Colleen: Is she Spanish?
Jack: What if she was, mother?
Liz: She’s very smart, Colleen, you’d like her.
Colleen: My thanks, to the peanut gallery.

Jack: Your family is strange.
Liz: Oh Mitch? He was in a skiing accident and he thinks it’s 1985.
Jack: No I get it. I’m talking about your parents. And what did your mother mean when she called you a beautiful genius? Was she taunting you?

Kenneth: I was pretty addicted to Coke back in my Wall Street days.

Tracy: No no, I can’t go because of the ankle bracelet. Or maybe I can go and not drink. Or maybe I’ll compromise. I’ll go to the party, cut off my foot and drink all I want!

2.10 Episode 210
Liz: Real-estate? No, that’s something you do when you’re married and have a family.
Jack: Sure, wait for that then your first home will be in the city of floating New Chicago.

Kenneth: It’s not just the coffee. I also went to a PG-13 movie. I… I bought a pair of sunglasses. I tried a Jewish doughnut. I’ve always been told that New York City was the 21st century city of Sodom. And look what’s happened. I’ve become one of them. I’ve been sodomized!

Tracy: You can’t leave, Ken. Who’s gonna help me tell white people apart.
Dot Com: And what about our tickets to Spam-a-lot?
Grizz: And who will be my wingman in speed dating?
Kenneth: Oh Grizz, I’ll miss you most of all.

2.11 MILF Island
Liz: Didn’t one of those MILFs die during production?
Lutz: She had too much champagne and a monkey knocked her into some quicksand. It could have happen anywhere.

Tracy: Ms Lemon! I can’t believe they put what you said in the paper!
Liz: Shhh! How do you know about that? This is a Cathy cartoon!
Tracy: Yeah that cartoon copied exactly what you said the other day!
[Flashback]
Liz: Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! Ack!

Liz: You know I wore corrective shoes as a kid.
Jack: Really?
Liz: When I was born, I had a malformed extra baby foot extending from my actual foot. They think maybe I ate my twin. But after the surgery to remove it, I walked pigeon toed. So all though grade school I had to wear corrective foot gear that attached to a head gear.

Kenneth: I couldn’t lie any more, sir. Because everyone knows the weight of a lie makes your soul so heavy, you cannot rise up to heaven. And you don’t look good in jeans from behind.

2.12 Subway Hero
Dennis: You swore to me that you would never see me again. But this whole crazy on again off again, Dennis Liz thing. You just can’t be stopped.
Liz: We don’t have a crazy… thing.
Dennis: Yeah we do. We’re like Ross and Rachel, but just not gay.

Tracy: Black people supporting Republicans? Does hot support cold? Does rain support the earth?

Jenna: Elizabeth Conworthy Lemon!
Liz: Ok, that’s not my middle name.
Jenna: Explain this!
Liz: Reading paper: Subway Hero, Dennis Duffy and actress Sally Field?

Bucky Bright: I wandered the building all night. I didn’t run into another single living soul. Except one giant lesbian. Who is Conan O’Brien, and why is she so sad?

Liz: If reality TV has taught us anything it’s that you can’t keep people with no shame down.

2.13 Succession
Tracy: Eureka!
Dot Com: What is it Tray?
Tracy: We should call Eureka! She always has good ideas.

Tracy: I’m like Mozart. You’re like that guy who was always jealous of Mozart.
Frank: Salieri?
Tracy: No thank you. I already ate.

Tracy: I see the potential for erotica in everything around me. This cup! This table! Even you Kenneth.
Kenneth: Well I am wearing a cuffed trouser today.

Jack: What’s wrong with him, Leo?
Dr. Leo Spaceman: To the untrained eye, it looks like he’d appear to be, in what we call in the medical community, sleeping. But he is in a diabetic coma.

2.14 Sandwich Day
Jack: I wish you the very best with the office, Kathy. By the way, you know who hates unicorns? Mark Wahlberg.

Kenneth: This is all my fault Ms Lemon, because I let it happen. And the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil, is for a good man to do nothing.
Tracy: Please ask me my permission before you quote me, Kenneth.

Jenna: How did it go with Floyd?
Liz: The poor guy got Lemoned, hard. Started babbling about how he wished he never left New York.
Jenna: Did you do that thing I showed you?
Liz: No, Jenna, I did not come back from the bathroom and hand him my underwear.
Jenna: That’s how I met that mobster.

Liz: I’m a bitch. I’m a lover. I’m a child. I’m a MOTHER! Floyd?!

2.15 Cooter
Jack: I don’t like to think of this president as a lame duck. I like to think of him as a lame eagle.

Cooter: Our first order of business, the city of Portland has requested 9 million dollars to shore up it’s dam system.
Politician: I can’t support it. Dam is a swear word. I’d support it if instead of a dam we called it a “God finger.”

Jenna: People always underestimate my instincts because of my good looks.
Liz: This is no time for back door bragging!

Liz: Hello, friend.
Jenna: Oh my god! You’re pregnant!

The Moves of 30 Rock

After the last post detailing the music featured on 30 Rock I then thought it was appropriate to broadcast the inordinate amount of dancing that is shown. The video below is the only one I could find that is well edited and of good quality. However I think it represents the show well because all the clips you see, totaling almost 4 minutes of footage, are taken from just a small selection of episodes in the first season. Considering there has now been 4 successful seasons of the show, it must go without saying that there has been plenty more dancing shown. My personal highlights from this video include: Tracy on Conan, Liz's pajama dance for Floyd, the cardio hip-hop groove dance class, Jenna dancing for Prince Gerhardt, Kenneth's 'clogging' and of course the choreography to 'Muffin Top'.



Since the rest of the videos are short and not in any particular order I will just post the links rather than the footage itself:

The video below does have a little to do with dancing, as Liz is filming the opening credits to her new talk show 'Deal Breakers', but that's not the whole reason I am posting it. It is perhaps the single funniest clip from the show ever, in my opinion, and even after repeated viewing it still manages to be laugh out loud funny. From the ridiculous moves Liz pulls out of the bag to the high def camera which transforms Pete into an old man, Kenneth into a muppet and Jack is seen in his very handsome early days.


The Music of 30 Rock

After researching memorable quotes from season one I began to realise that music plays a very large role and more often that not the funniest parts are when music is featured. Below I have gathered information in regards to all the different times when music is present. These range from fully composed and orchestrated songs to the characters just breaking into song.

Kidney Now!
This first video demonstrates the extent the writers will go to to create an almost believable song. It was designed to spoof real life songs written for charities, such as 'Band Aid' or 'We are the World'. I think the mix between pure goofyness and taking it seriously is dead on and the singers really pull it off. It features in the last scene of the season 3 finale and artists that can be heard include: Sheryl Crow, Mary J Blige, Elvis Costello, Cyndi Lauper, Clay Aiken, Adam Levine, The Beastie Boys, Moby, Michael McDonald and of course Jane Krakowski makes her presence known as the character of Jenna riffs heavily near the end of the song. On a personal note my favourite line would have to be: 'This country has 600 million kidneys and we only really need half, that leaves about 300 million kidneys, do the math'. Watch the video in full below.



Werewolf Bar Mitzvah:
This song was actually only featured in the show for roughly 8 seconds but it has become a fan favourite for 30 Rock viewers. Tracy himself describes it as a 'novelty party song' in the season 2 episode 'Jack Gets in the Game'. The line 'boys becoming men, men becoming wolves' is inspired and in terms of visuals, the video is described as 'a “Thriller” like montage of badly made-up werewolves sporting lame disco moves while celebrating a coming-of-age ceremony'. The video below features the song in its entirety, and deserves a listen just for Tracy's knowledge of 'jewish words' alone.



Muffin Top:
This was actually the first taster of the musical abilities of the show. It features heavily in the first season, but does still appear as a backing track in recent episodes, more often than not as a dance remix. In the storyline it reached No. 4 in Belgium and surprisingly No. 1 in Israel. It's described as a 'dance - pop hybrid' and Jenna gets to perform it with Ghostface Killah at the end of 'The Girly Show' in a season 1 episode. Watch the video below, but beware it tends to get stuck in your head for a long time after.



Tennis Night:
Muffin Top is not the only musical number Jenna has in the show. In fact she features heavily in a selection of different arrangements, probably because, despite the character being a nut job, she does actually have a very good voice. This particular song was Jenna's attempt at 'going country' under the guidance of Jack, and actually spoofs the real life 'Football Night' promotional video done by Faith Hill. I think the real punch-line is the eastern european players names and this line in particular: 'put down your meth and slip on your whites'. Apparently there was an actual 'tennis night' broadcast sometime in 2009, but it bombed and was never scheduled again. I think with an introduction like this it would've been a hit.



Mystic Pizza: The Musical
Another fantastic musical moment from 30 Rock was when Jenna landed the lead role in a broadway adaptation of the Julia Robert's 1988 film; Mystic Pizza. Apparently Jenna was required to eat 32 slices of pizza on stage every week, and therefore this led to her gaining an enormous amount of weight in season 2. This actually led to her most successful period in her career, garnering the popular catchphrase 'Me Want Food!' and of course becoming the face of the 'Enorme', the number one perfume for plus sized women. Below is the lead song from the smash hit musical.



Of course there are many other Jenna musical moments that I can't find videos of unfortunately, but this doesn't mean they are not as funny. For example there was Jenna's quest to 'become' Janis Joplin which led to cover versions of her songs including: 'Break another little chunk of my lung now mister' and of course there was her duet with Jimi Hendrixson at Woodstocks. Other musical moments include renditions of: The Greatest Love of All, Don't Cry Out Loud, Chocolate Rain, her ode to America and of course her dead on Michael McDonald impression found here.

There are plenty of other musical moments featuring the rest of the cast, most notably: a 'Midnight Train to Georgia' parody called 'Quarter to Midnight Train to Georgia', Tracy's christmas song 'A Jordan Christmas' and obviously a selection of Liz moments found below: